Connections

Today was the last day of school. I always feel a little empty around this time. I couldn't wait for it to be over, and now, I'm actually going to miss the kids. Until this year, I hadn't worked with teenagers for a very long time. It was quite a challenge. I learned so much about myself this year. I've uncovered, yet, more of myself that needs a good tweak. For this, I have the kids to thank. Without having to deal with their issues, some of mine would not have made themselves more clearly known. For example, I learned that chaos scares the hell out of me. I do not like feeling out of control...the idea of control being a whole other issue.

The most important thing I realized is, you don't have to be the perfect teacher, or the perfect student, to feel cared for and respected. Kids know when you care for them and when you're making an effort to connect. Here's something to illustrate what I mean. It happened just the other day. One of the kids and I were butting heads much of the year. Yet, we both kept trying to communicate with each other. Were the interactions perfect? No. They were, however, good enough, that on the second to the last day of school, when this kid went home ill, we hugged each other and he softly said, "It's been a good year." I can't describe the impact that interaction had on me. I will never forget it.

I realize that I have begun to build some new friendships. I've met some terrific people this year. I wanted to say awesome, but I hate that much over used word. However, with a respectful nod to the kids, who love the word, and because it's true, I'll rephrase... I met some awesome people this year. For that, I am truly thankful.

In a day or two, I'll start to feel like it's summer vacation, one I sorely need after the trials and tribulations of last summer (dramatic, aren't I?) For the moment, I'll allow myself to grieve for another school year gone by, and another group of kids I'll no longer see everyday. I'm sure the sadness will abate the first time I hear, "Hey, B!" as I'm strolling through the aisles of Wal-Mart.

I wish the kids, as well as my friends and colleagues, a great summer!